The Pack Leader Report

Things have been interesting with the pack lately. Furry Two Legger and Curly Haired Two Legger left for a couple of days, and came back with this small little two legger. Well at least I think it is a two legger, it seems to have two legs , but doesn't seem to actually use them. The little two legger doesn't really do much of anything except make these weird annoying high pitched cries. Being a benelovent Pack Leader, I have learned to ignore these annoying cries. Furry and Curly Haired Two Leggers however seem to find these cries incredibly interesting as they spend a lot of time watching the little one cry. Why they would do that instead of giving me my rubbies is really beyond me.

The only redeeming quality the little one has as far as I can tell, is they attract these other two leggers called "Grandmas". I like the Grandmas. They are very good about giving me plenty of rubbies, and they are not stingy with the treats.

Of course, as much as I like the grandmas, the little one also attracts a bad element. First, there is Pack Leader 2, or at least that's what the two leggers have been calling it. It is nothing like the great me. It is a very wide dog that really just lays about. Except for once when it growled at me. Although, that may have been the Curly Haired Two Legger trying to be funny. She has no idea how close Pack Leader 2 was to being eviscerated.

Pack Leader and Pack Leader 2 attempt to reach some sort of detente.

The other bad element is Monster Ball. It's a ball so you would think it would be likable, but it's monstrously large. And it makes weird echoy noises, so I never turn my back on it. One day, I will find a way to grab it and then I will smush it, but for now we have an uneasy truce. But watch yourself Monster Ball, I will not be trifled with!!!

Pack Leader warily approaches Monster Ball.

While I seemed to be stuck with the useless little one as part of my pack, I tried to add squishy ball to the pack. It is a great and wonderful ball, it is funny colors, it squishes and squeaks. It has all sorts of wonderful smells that are fun to track. It flies, it bounces, it rolls. It is infinitely more entertaining than the little one, and does tons more stuff. But no, Curly Haired declared it was disgusting, and wouldn't bring it out of the transport device. I do get to play with squishy ball at my kingdom on top of the hill, but damn the two leggers and their mastery of doors, or Squishy Ball would totally be part of the pack.

Squishy Ball, Pack Leader's preferred new pack member. Squishy Ball seems perfectly happy in the car.

Well the useless little one seems to be emitting some interesting smells I need to go check out, so concludes this pack report.