The Kid Expands His Diet

The Kid recently made a trip to Dork Boys homeland. This necessitated a rather lengthy plane ride and some additions to The Kid's diet. The plane flight was an object of dread for Dork Boy and The Wife, but The Kid was kind and generous, and therefore was a very cooperative traveler, even if he was a bit confused as to why the hell they had to get up at 4am to go somewhere. Dork Boy was a bit confused by this as well, and he made the reservations.

While The Kid was fairly well behaved during the flight, he was pretty annoyed that he could not crawl up and down the aisle. He tried once or twice, but the kind cabin attendant with the drink cart kind of insisted he remain in his seat. Luckily, we were somewhat mollified by getting to play with the touch screen in the seat back. Whacking the screen and watching the display change was good for at least an hours worth of entertainment, which made most of the plane very happy. The one exception would be the lady in the seat in front of The Kid. She did not particularly enjoy some of The Kid's more energetic channel changing maneuvers.

While the plane flight was something he endured, The Kid did enjoy two new taste treats native to Dork Boy's homeland - BBQ and Fast Food Grease. The Kid was particularly fond of BBQ Ribs, which he tended to steal off of Dork Boy's plate.

The Kid helpfully insures all ribs were completely free of meat.

The Kid was a little reluctant to return the pilfered ribs.

The Kid was not as fond the tasty grease of The Varsity. However, part of the problem may have been The Wife's frequent and forceful warnings about Dork Boy's impending heart attack after each onion ring. While, The Kid was not that fond of The Varsity's food(although he was only allowed to eat it bits of hot dog bun), he was very pleased with The Varsity inspired fashion.

The Kid can wear the hat, but is still working on the "Whadya have? Whadya have?"

Sherpa Pirate

Not content with merely being a Master of The High Mountains, The Kid is now also in training to rule the high seas.

The Kid directs Dork Boy and The Wife about the bay. Generally this involved going from one tug boat to another.

While the Kid is very excited to be on the boat and directing where to go, he is really most excited about the ropes. Because of this he volunteered to be part of the cabin crew.

The Kid is a bit dismayed at the clutter Dork Boy allows below decks.

When not organizing the many lines and sails Dork Boy left scattered about the cabin, The Kid was busy helping Gigi run the jib sheets.

The Kid explain to Gigi the importance of always keeping a hand on the jib sheet and watching the tell tails.

While The Kid greatly enjoyed his initial sailing experience, there was very little boarding and taking of ships(although The Kid did give several Tug Boats some very long looks) and pretty much no rum was consumed, so it could be a while before The Kid begins the journey to the Somali coast to take his place as the pirate kingpin.

The Big Brown House Mouse

Halloween was a bit tense for The Kid, T-Bear and Monkey. First T-Bear and Monkey were not allowed to go Trick-Or-Treating. This did not make the guys all that happy. T-Bear, being a bear, is a big fan of sweets, and Monkey is remarkably fond of costumes. However, given that the Kid was going to Z.'s house which was going to be full of a number of other kiddos, maybe adding a Monkey and a Bear was a bit much.

While the guys were a bit bummed, they were at least in it together. However, that changed when The Kid's costume was revealed. The Kid was going to go as a Bear. This little fact through the delicate balance between the bears and the monkeys all out of whack. The Monkeys and The Bears are by no means antagonist, but still that many animals in a small house, protocols must be followed to insure toes are not stepped on, and The Kid being a Bear definitely broke some of those protocols.

But before things could get out of hand, The Wife inadvertently calmed things down. While trying to add some whiskers to the fierce little bear, she managed to turn him into a Big Brown House Mouse. And Nobody is upset by a Big Brown House Mouse. Well except for The Kid who wasn't so excited about having to wear a really warm Big Brown House Mouse costume.

While unhappy about the really warm hood, The Kid did love getting to play with the candy bucket.(Wife's Note:no candy was eaten)

Sherpa Field Training

As part of Sherpa School, The Kid went through an intensive field training course. The Kid had to guide the motley crew of Dork Boy, The Wife, Gigi, Bilbo, Crazy Aunt 1, and Cajun Unc through the Senoran desert. No easy task, especially for a guide who can't actually walk. Although, The Kid is slowly mastering the art of moving by neither walking or crawling. He uses some sort combination of flopping, sitting, drooling, and sherpa mind power to move about. Its slow but surprisingly effective. However, this is not the method he used to get about around the desert(not so much because he couldn't, but because the resulting dirt ball would have give The Wife a heart attack). He instead used his revolutionary side saddle backpack riding method.

The Kid demonstrates his side saddle technique, as well as Dork Boys ridiculous hair.

As well as keeping his motley crew from dying in the Senoran Desert, The Kid tried to educate Dork Boy on some of the native plants and the basics of navigating on trails.

The Kid shows Dork Boy trail markers, and native plants, as well, as making fun of Dork Boys horrendous hair.

The Kid's instruction was so successful that Dork Boy and The Wife were able to go for a hike all by themselves. Although, The Kid did send them on a simple hike were all they had to do was follow the river. Dork Boy still tried to get lost a couple times, but The Wife kept them pointed in the right direction.

Sights from Dork Boy and The Wife's hike. Dork Boys hair while not as visible is still ratty looking.

In addition to the technical details of guiding the hike, The Kid did a great job of getting the group to have fun. This particularly was necessary with the shy and retiring Cajun Unc, but by continually bouncing every time he saw Cajun Unc, The Kid managed to get the message that Cajun Unc should relax and have some fun. By the end of the weekend, Cajun Unc really had loosened up.

Here is Cajun Unc being a little tense. Crazy Aunt is just being crazy.

Here Cajun Unc looking much more happy and relaxed after several bounce messages from The Kid.

All in all it was a very successful trip to the desert. The Kid did an excellent job leading the hiking party, and will now get to continue with more advanced training at Sherpa School. He has already moved onto proper food handling(most of this involves not mushing the food). In addition, he started his studies in wildlife identification by going to the zoo.

Cause Grandmas Like Moving Pictures

Some people(Grandma's) feel maybe the accounts given by T-Bear and Monkey don't give them all the details they need to know about The Kid. While T-Bear and Monkey could have tried for more flowery descriptive prose to paint a more complete picture, they are pretty smart creatures and realized flowery descriptive prose is not so easy. However, using Dork Boy's credit card to purchase a camera with video capabilities is easy. Thus T-Bear and Monkey present The Kid in moving pictures and squeals.




To add further embarrassment to The Kid's bath adventures, T-Bear and Monkey proudly present a gratuitous butt shot.


T-Bear and Monkey assure all concerned that the choice to show such embarrassing photos is in no way related to them having to share a bed with a kid who has made an unfortunate habit of overflowing his pee diaper.

The Texas Delegation

Being endorsed by the state of Texas is not all fun Lyle Lovett related benefits, there are some duties. One of the main tasks The Kid must handle, is meeting with the occasional delegation from Texas, so that he can stay in touch with issues effecting Texans. Recently, he had a visit from official Texas baby, Baby B. Baby B was accompanied by his talented staff of Nana and The Snorter. Not to be out done, The Kid had his normal staff of T-Bear and Monkey. While T-Bear and Monkey are generally excellent staff, they are however a little out of there depth when it comes to the intricate protocol required to host an official Texas delegation. For this reason, The Kid brought in the expert, Gigi. Gigi did an excellent job of making sure there were no faux paux. Although, as far as T-Bear and Monkey could determine, the intricate protocol for an official Texas visit seems to involve lots and lots of dessert making. Well, there was some sort of hullabulu about pants being to short, but otherwise it seemed to be mostly dessert.

Baby B with his staff.

The actual meeting was very productive. The Kid and Baby B had a very intense discussion over a German consortiums plan for a gravity powered light rail system.

The Kid and Baby B take a break from intentally studing the scale model supplied by the german consurtium

They met with a group of expat Texans to learn what their concerns were for life outside the borders of Texas.

The Kid and Baby B meet with prominent members of the Texas Expatriate community

They also discussed environmental concerns such as the necessity of green spaces and the importance and practically of ride sharing.

The Kid and Baby B demonstrating that carpooling doesn't just apply to commuting.

Fun In The Water

Due to The Kid's hectic social schedule, he's attended several pool parties. He was a little unsure exactly how to handle these water based social events, so he checked with Monkey and T-Bear to see what swimming was like. While normally going to a bear and monkey for advice on pretty much any subject is a brilliant idea, asking them about swimming in a pool may be one of the few instances where they don't offer brilliant advice. Monkey tried to convince the kid to avoid all swimming, as swimming invariably led to encounters with crocodiles, and in Monkey's experience crocodiles where not the best swim buddies in the world. T-Bear on the other hand assured him swimming was great, although he had to make sure he scooped out all the salmon he could find. The Kid was not so excited about swimming with either salmon or crocodiles, so he was a little worried when he went to Z's birthday pool party.

The Kid anxiously looking for crocodiles to avoid or salmon to scoop.

After a few tentative trips into the pool that involved no crocodiles or salmon, The Kid decided maybe pools weren't the scary experience he had been led to expect. Z also assured him, in her vast pool experience, salmon and crocodiles were very rare.

With this encouragement The Kid was much more excited about the pool at baby D's little get together. Not only did the kid dip his feet in the water, he got his face wet and did some fast fast motorboating and a little practice waterskiing.

The Kid showing his skills as a fast fast motorboat.

Unfortunately there was no photographic evidence of The Kid's water skiing skills. However, The Kid is pretty sure it looked a lot like this:

The Kid is all about the intensity just like the Zooker.

Whether or not The Kid's skiing is that intense, he is now a much bigger fan of pools, and a little more unsure whether T-Bear and Monkey are as knowledgeable as they claim.

More Parenting Oddities

T-Bear and Monkey are not really sure what to make of this. Either it's some sort of new age baby restraint device, or Dork Boy is growing clones of The Kid in the garden. Currently, T-Bear and Monkey are keeping a close eye on the garden.

The Kid either restrained from rolling all about the room, or hanging out with The Kid Clone 1 and The Kid Clone 2.

Gameday Comes!!!

The Kid is ready for the beginning of college football gamedays. He's not all that sure he understands the intricacies of college football, but he's pretty sure it involves lots of excitement. At least, there was lots of excitement when he was in utero. Based on the in utero experience, game day involves some yelling of "Gameday!!!", then Dork Boy gets grumpy and becomes convinced the dawgs will lose, but The Wife trys to reassures him everything will be fine because it's only the first quarter. However, Dork Boy tends to not believe this at all because he invariably stomps off and disappears for a while. Then he comes back, cheers, decides the dawgs don't suck and begins to contemplate naming children after Knowshon and Rennie Curran. This continues for a while, then The Wife generally says "See I told you they'd be fine". Then there is a brief break. After which, the wife begins to jump around a lot saying things like, "What the hell was that!!!", "F#$*&ng Weiss!!", "Genius My Ass!!!". Then Dork Boy tries to assure The Wife it's not that bad. The Wife generally seems to scoff at this, and to be honest Dork Boy doesn't sound like he believes it all that much. Based on the fairly continual yelling, The Kid's pretty sure it was that bad. Although The Kid did enjoy the jumping, so from his perspective it wasn't that bad.

Charlie better get his genius act on or The Kid's first words maybe "Weiss is a f@#$%!g idiot!!!"

The Kid did make the last gameday of last season. Although, it was a bit different than he imaged. There was very little jumping, but that may have been due to his arrival which apparently made jumping fairly uncomfortable for the wife. There was lots of yelling "f%k*" and "s#$t" which normally are a big part of gamedays, however there was very little mention of Weiss. Also the game was a bit strange since it seemed to involve very large men in black chasing somebody called Colt Brennan. The Kid is pretty sure he never wants to be the Colt Brennan.

Colt Brennan is not sure he wants to ever be the Colt Brennan again.

To help be more prepared for gamedays this season, The Kid consulted with T-Bear on the needed skills, and he's pretty sure he can handle the basics of college football watching.

First he has his gameday outfit complete with lucky hat.

He has mastered the details of sitting on the couch and operating the remote control.

And he learned to operate the beer bottle.

The Kid Does Some Construction

The Wife has been on a bit of crusade to rid the house of her nemesis the toilet. Nobody is quite sure exactly what the root of the hatred is, but it is a deep and abiding hatred. And it finally reached it's peak; The Wife declared the toilet had to go. This is when the Kid stepped in. Based on T-Bear and Monkey's report on Dork Boy's attempts to hang blinds, The Kid decided maybe it was better if Dork Boy wasn't really involved in the installing the toilet.

So The Kid jumped in his command center and got his all girl construction crew on the job.

The Kid supervises the initial installation of the toilet.

While his crew did an excellent job of doing the heavy lifting and getting the toilet installed, The Kid had to do the small details of getting the toilet just right.

The Kid gets in position to make some detailed adjustments.

While many had hoped the removal of the toilet would all The Wife to settle into a life free of hatred for house hold items, it appears that is not to be the case. The Wife has now turned her ire on the windows that have dared to allow a draft. The Kid is currently reviewing the finer points of window installation.

The Best Office In Town

After observing Dork Boy hard at work at his massive desk, The Kid requested his own work center. He seems to have gotten the best one in town.


While not overly large, it is very sunny and airy. However, The Kid's love of laying on his blanket and staring at the flapping ceiling does mean not much work gets done. Another problem is Pack Leader is a bit jealous of the Kid's cool new digs. This could lead to a vicious game of corporate politics which isn't so good for The Kid, as he still only speaks gibberish. Gibberish may make the grandma's swoon, but it won't sway the crowd at the water cooler.

Orange Beard!!!!

Despite no longer being a heathen, The Kid seems to be starting on a career as Orange Beard The Pirate. No word on whether T-Bear or Monkey will serve as his first mate, although both have expressed excitement over the possibility of rum. Although, Monkey has requested his in banana daiquiri form.

Arghh!!!!!

The Kid Gets Dunked

T-Bear and Monkey are a little confused as to the exact purpose of this whole baptism thing, but Dork Boy, The Wife and the grandparents seemed to feel it was a fairly big deal. Or at least they made the kid wear a fairly spectacular outfit that was some sort satiny papal robe get-up.

Then there was a ceremony with a pool thing, some annointing of oils, pouring of waters, and rejecting of satan. The Kid found the whole thing not nearly as exciting as his typical bath, or at least a whole lot drier and did absolutely no fussing. While The Kid was perfectly happy, T-Bear and Monkey weren't completely sure how the priest man felt about the kids snazzy red shoes.

Dork Boy contemplating the appropriate response to The Kid spitting his binker into the baptismal pool.

The Kid showing off the kicks. Also showing off a bit too much leg for a church.

Anyway, as part of this dunking process Dork Boy and The Wife, had to select Godparents to be in charge of The Kid's spiritual upbringing. For some reason they selected, Fake Unc Lawyer Boy and Fake Aunt Brooke Anne. T Bear And Monkey may not know the most about religion, but relying on lawyers for spiritual matters seems a doubtful proposition. However, The Kid does seem fond of them.

The whole dunking crew celebrating The Kids ability to have water poured on his head.

The Kid showing that baptism, capes and fedoras totally go together.

The Rarely Seen Tiger Ninja

While much of T-Bear's fairly shady background is shrouded in mystery, it is known that before beginning work as a teddy bear, he was a fairly accomplished nature photographer. Apparently, being a bear makes it very easy to blend into natural setting. Although he did say not having thumbs made actually operating the camera a bit difficult. He has provided us with some his shots of the rarely seen Tiger Ninja in mid-pounce. The Tiger Ninja is easily identified by its Tiger Printed Ninja sleepware, as well as it's tendency to drool and giggle before pouncing. While appearing very cute, the Tiger Ninja is a surprisingly vicious hunter. Due to the stunning speed of the Tiger Ninja's attack these are not the best pictures.

The rare Tiger Ninja in mid pounce.

The pouncing Tiger Ninja being very surprised to be pouncing on a camera wielding bear.

Baby Al Davis

This is the outfit that Dork Boy likes to call the Al Davis Outfit. He calls it this because well he's a dork, and because at this point all white sweat suits really have to be associated with Al Davis. Anyway, because it is the Al Davis Outfit, Dork Boy really likes to dress The Kid in it. So if The Kid grows up to look like this:
And spends a lot of time mumbling about "Just Win Baby" and the importance of the vertical passing game, it can all be blamed on Dork Boy.

Super Extreme Elitist

Most people agree the true test of whether you have an elitist baby is whether they have multiple nannies. Generally this is a day nanny and night nanny, but The Kid totally beats this. He really doesn't have a nanny, but he does have T-Bears and Monkeys, and not just one set of T-Bear and Monkey, and not even just two sets of T-Bears and Monkeys, he,in fact, has three pairs of T-Bears and Monkeys: upstairs T-Bear and Monkey, downstairs T-Bear and Monkey, and last but not least are Travel T-Bear and Monkey. Based on his massive collection of bears and monkeys we must conclude The Kid is beyond elitist, and is in fact Super Extreme Elitist.

The Kid with his hordes of T-Bears and Monkeys.

For Grumps

Grumps has often wished that Dork Boy would occasionally wear a collared shirt. He will be happy to know that a collared shirt was worn as Dork Boy and The Kid left for work and Sherpa School.

The Kid showing how business casual is done. Dork Boy showing how dork-wear is done.

Unfortunately that was probably not who Grumps hope would wear the collared shirt.

Odd Parenting

Although, T-Bear and Monkey consider Dork Boy and dork, and The Wife is a bit suspect by association, they have seemed to be staying out of the way enough for T-Bear and Monkey to insure The Kid would grow up to be some what normal, but things have been changing lately.
First, Dork Boy got a new camera that unfortunately has burst mode. Dork Boy is a bit fond of burst mode, often generating hundreds of pictures at a time. Normally this wouldn't be a problem since this would mostly keep him amused in a harmless task, but unfortunately burst mode allows Dork Boy to capture some truly horrible images.

The Kid in mid-spit take.

Dork Boy's love of these images, will clearly be a bit embarrassing for The Kid, however the much bigger problem maybe the The Wife who may have lost her mind. She seems obsessed with dressing The Kid in matching outfits.


The Wife clearly has an insane look in her eye. The Kid clearly has a look that says "Call Child Services Now!!!" T-Bear and Monkey are still not sure whether to actually make the call. They are leaning towards making the call.

The Kid is A Social Animal

T-Bear is very impressed with The Kids ability to already become one of the cool kids at Sherpa School. Granted much of the T-Bear's respect is based on his lack of math skills and lack of experience with packs. Really, being part of the cool kids in a school of 2 is not that impressive, unless of course you're a bear. Despite the small school The Kid has had a very full social calendar lately. First, he was invited to the biggest social event of the year for Sherpa School, Baby D's birthday party. The Kid did a fair amount of mixing and mingling at the swaree. He seemed to be particularly fond of visiting with the ladies.

The Kid relaxing with The Wife and Baby D's Lovely MeMe.

The Kid visits with Baby Z and Baby Z's lovely grandmother

Both T-Bear and Monkey were very impressed with that The Kid was able to get so much time with the ladies despite having a few spit-up issues. Both felt he must be one smooth baby to get away with spitting-up at a party. Spitting-up is highly frowned upon at both bear and monkey parties.

As much as T-Bear and Monkey were impressed with The Kid for getting to go to Baby D's party, they were even more impressed that internet super star The Snuggly Kid came to visit.

The Kid hanging out with the highly photogenic Snuggly Kid.

The get together was going extremely well until the two kids got into a bit of discussion as to which of them should actually be the Kid with a capital K. That's when the Snuggly Kid, despite her name, went a little diva-ish and said "Talk To The Hand".

The Kid attempting to talk to the hand.

The mom's quickly moved into keep things civil and a good time was had by all. Although, the Snuggly Kid seemed to be fond of playing with Dork Boy which T-Bear and Monkey fond to be a bit odd, and merely confirmed to them you should never trust those internet sensations.

Snuggly Kid and Dork Boy between exciting rounds of horsey.