Into The Upstairs

The Kid, T-Bear and Monkey had been planning the expedition for months. They had been training for almost a year. Well, The Kid had been training, advancing from being completely immobile, to being able to support his head, to being able to sit up, to being able to crawl, and now he could finally pull himself up to a standing position. Monkey and T-Bear had mostly hung out eating bananas and honey respectively, but they could already walk, so there wasn't that much training to actually do. By mid-December they decided they were physically ready to table the awesome challenge of Mt. Gigishouse.

The Kid doing stove pull-ups as part of his intensive training program.

The Kid practices his climbing technique and use of an authentic climbing sweater on his local mountain.

Their crack support staff quickly took care of the final travel arrangements and insuring the proper visas, permits and inoculations were obtained. (Actually the final travel arrangements mostly consisted of figuring out how to cram all Kid and Pack Leader related gear into the car; visas, permits and inoculations would have been much easier.) With the preparations done, the crew set off on the journey to base camp. It was a long journey that took a lot out of the team, particularly on the support staff. In particular, Dork Boy needed a lot of rest after the journey because of some very late nights of navigating. While the logistic staff rested, the climbing team began preparing for the arduous climb.

Due to weather conditions at Mt. Gigishouse, the team had a limited window to reach the summit. Because of this, the team was planning on spending several days acclimatizing at base camp, and then making an aggressive rapid one day ascent and descent, as opposed to the more conservative approach of spending a night at the high base camp on Bilbeauxz Plateau.

The acclimatizing phase went very well. After several days T-Bear, Monkey and The Kid were all very comfortable with the environment. In fact, acclimatizing may have gone to well because when it came time to set out for the climb, T-Bear and Monkey decided rather than making a cold brutal climb to the harsh conditions at the peak of Mt. Gigishouse, they would remain in the warm cozy conditions of base camp where there where lots and lots and lots of snacks were readily available. Thus, The Kid set out for the peak of Mt. Gigishouse on a cloudy day in late Decemember with only his trusty sidekick, Sherpa Bilbo for company.

The plan for the ascent was to begin the climb up the long South Ridge to reach Bilbeauxz Plateau. Then take a quick rest, before making the technical tricky crossing to the North Ridge. Then a quick ascent up the North Ridge to the peak. Then they would have to make descent the way the had come and reach Base Camp before the weather window closed.

The climb began well. The Kid was climbing quickly and confidently. But as they reached the top of the South Ridge the altitude began to effect the The Kid. He began climbing much slower and less stably. It took all of Sherpa Bilbo's concentration to avert disaster several times, but they did reach Bilbeauxz Plateau on schedule. However, The Kid was very tired, and after a brief rest he considered giving up his dream of reaching the peak. But after consulting with the staff at Base Camp and Sherpa Bilbo, he decided to continue.

The rest gave The Kid a burst of energy, and he quickly crossed the Bilbeauxz Plateau. However, the short steep climb up the North Ridge was a brutal slog. The Kid had to battle cold and a much thinner atmosphere. But eventually because of the determination of The Kid and the skill of Sherpa Bilbo The Kid reached the mystical peak of Mt. Gigishouse.

The Kid celebrating reaching the peak.

After a great deal of celebrating his monumental achievement, The Kid had to begin the climb back to base camp. Unfortunately the prolonged exposure to the thinner atmosphere of The Upstairs had left The Kid highly disoriented. Either because of some death wish or because of his training to become the first drive of a co-ed bobsled team, The Kid insisted on attempting to make the descent head first. For several tense moments both the base camp staff and Sherpa Bilbo pleaded with The Kid to go feet first, but to no avail. Finally, Sherpa Bill was forced to restrain The Kid and carry him back to Base Camp.

The Kid and Baby D during an early bobsled training session.

After arriving at Base Camp, The Kid had a sippy cup, some Cheerios and some string cheese and was completely revived. He was so revived he tried to steal some of Dork Boys celebratory beer and enjoyed retelling stories of his epic climb.

The Kid Mountain climber and renowned beer thief

Challenging Grand Great Aunt Jamie.

The Kid may not quite be able to walk but he is mastering the use of the table as walker technique. He definitely has some good speed working, but he still has a few issues with steering. As soon as he gets those issues worked out, he's totally challenging his Grand Great Aunt Jamie(who is Dork Boys Great Aunt, as well as being generally grand and great) who is true master of the walker.

Although before that he may want to give Monkey and T-Bear a ride as they are a little annoyed the Legos seem to be getting a ride and not them.

The Long Lost Introduction of Captain Christmas and his sidekick Cousin Gumbo

The Kid and Cousin Gumbo in full Christmas Super Hero regailia.

For most people the key figure of Christmas is Santa Claus, but those in the know, know the person who really makes Christmas go is The Kid, or more specifically his Christmas alter ego, Captain Christmas. Captain Christmas is the official super hero of Christmas, and like most super heros he has a side kick, in his case it is his Cousin Gumbo. Being remarkably young(most experts agree Gumbo maybe the youngest Sidekick on record) Gumbo is still in training, so he isn't completely up on some of the key sidekick tasks, such as moving and uttering catch phrases. He does however emit a very entertaining pterodactyl squeak.

Cousin Gumbo recovering from a particularly energetic petrotacyl squeak.

Since neither Captain Christmas nor Cousin Gumbo are supremely mobile(Captain Christmas has only recently learned how to access areas protected by stairs going up, and he still is a bit stymied by stairs going down.) they take care of some more obscure tasks related to making Christmas happen, while Santa takes care of some of the flashier Christmas tasks, like delivering presents. Captain Christmas's main focus is stopping evil poorly faked Santa beards. This mostly involves sitting on the laps of mall Santas, and grabbing a fist full of beard and shaking. Most Santas are a little surprised by this, but quickly recover, and generally they appreciate Captain Christmas's efforts to keep the riff raff out of the mall santa ranks. Although, mall Santas initially appreciate the effort, they do occasionally become a little preturbed by the arduous task of disengaging Captain Christmas from the beard. Captain Christmas likes to make sure he's very thorough in his testing of the beard, and occasionally doesn't let go for a while.

Footage from one of Captain Christmas missions to check out mall santas.

In addition to stopping evil Santas, Captain Christmas also spends a fair amount of time inspecting christmas wrapping paper. His inspection method is unique put effective. He tends to grab paper fling in the air and then krinkle it a bit to test the structural integrity of the paper. Then he drags the paper over his head to check for both visual and ollfactory imperfections. Most people wouldn't think to check paper for smell issues, but not the hyper-dedicated Captain Christmas.

Captain Christmas really gets involved in wrapping paper inspections.

When not inspecting Santa beards and wrapping paper, Captain Christmas is often on rogue elf patrol. Many people don't know the stress of getting all the toys made by Christmas and the 6 months of freezing cold and no sunlight, can occasionally drive elves rogue. Because of this Captain Christmas make regular patrols to look for the elves. These patrols usually involve crawling about in his special Captain Christmas cape and looking in all unlocked cabinets, drawers and toy bins. You never know where the rogue elves could be hiding, and Captain Christmas does enjoy a good chaotic emptying of a cabinet, drawer or toy bin.

Nobody ever expects the Elvish Inquisition, except Captain Christmas who is constantly on patrol for rogue elves.

The Kid Expands His Diet

The Kid recently made a trip to Dork Boys homeland. This necessitated a rather lengthy plane ride and some additions to The Kid's diet. The plane flight was an object of dread for Dork Boy and The Wife, but The Kid was kind and generous, and therefore was a very cooperative traveler, even if he was a bit confused as to why the hell they had to get up at 4am to go somewhere. Dork Boy was a bit confused by this as well, and he made the reservations.

While The Kid was fairly well behaved during the flight, he was pretty annoyed that he could not crawl up and down the aisle. He tried once or twice, but the kind cabin attendant with the drink cart kind of insisted he remain in his seat. Luckily, we were somewhat mollified by getting to play with the touch screen in the seat back. Whacking the screen and watching the display change was good for at least an hours worth of entertainment, which made most of the plane very happy. The one exception would be the lady in the seat in front of The Kid. She did not particularly enjoy some of The Kid's more energetic channel changing maneuvers.

While the plane flight was something he endured, The Kid did enjoy two new taste treats native to Dork Boy's homeland - BBQ and Fast Food Grease. The Kid was particularly fond of BBQ Ribs, which he tended to steal off of Dork Boy's plate.

The Kid helpfully insures all ribs were completely free of meat.

The Kid was a little reluctant to return the pilfered ribs.

The Kid was not as fond the tasty grease of The Varsity. However, part of the problem may have been The Wife's frequent and forceful warnings about Dork Boy's impending heart attack after each onion ring. While, The Kid was not that fond of The Varsity's food(although he was only allowed to eat it bits of hot dog bun), he was very pleased with The Varsity inspired fashion.

The Kid can wear the hat, but is still working on the "Whadya have? Whadya have?"

Sherpa Pirate

Not content with merely being a Master of The High Mountains, The Kid is now also in training to rule the high seas.

The Kid directs Dork Boy and The Wife about the bay. Generally this involved going from one tug boat to another.

While the Kid is very excited to be on the boat and directing where to go, he is really most excited about the ropes. Because of this he volunteered to be part of the cabin crew.

The Kid is a bit dismayed at the clutter Dork Boy allows below decks.

When not organizing the many lines and sails Dork Boy left scattered about the cabin, The Kid was busy helping Gigi run the jib sheets.

The Kid explain to Gigi the importance of always keeping a hand on the jib sheet and watching the tell tails.

While The Kid greatly enjoyed his initial sailing experience, there was very little boarding and taking of ships(although The Kid did give several Tug Boats some very long looks) and pretty much no rum was consumed, so it could be a while before The Kid begins the journey to the Somali coast to take his place as the pirate kingpin.

The Big Brown House Mouse

Halloween was a bit tense for The Kid, T-Bear and Monkey. First T-Bear and Monkey were not allowed to go Trick-Or-Treating. This did not make the guys all that happy. T-Bear, being a bear, is a big fan of sweets, and Monkey is remarkably fond of costumes. However, given that the Kid was going to Z.'s house which was going to be full of a number of other kiddos, maybe adding a Monkey and a Bear was a bit much.

While the guys were a bit bummed, they were at least in it together. However, that changed when The Kid's costume was revealed. The Kid was going to go as a Bear. This little fact through the delicate balance between the bears and the monkeys all out of whack. The Monkeys and The Bears are by no means antagonist, but still that many animals in a small house, protocols must be followed to insure toes are not stepped on, and The Kid being a Bear definitely broke some of those protocols.

But before things could get out of hand, The Wife inadvertently calmed things down. While trying to add some whiskers to the fierce little bear, she managed to turn him into a Big Brown House Mouse. And Nobody is upset by a Big Brown House Mouse. Well except for The Kid who wasn't so excited about having to wear a really warm Big Brown House Mouse costume.

While unhappy about the really warm hood, The Kid did love getting to play with the candy bucket.(Wife's Note:no candy was eaten)

Sherpa Field Training

As part of Sherpa School, The Kid went through an intensive field training course. The Kid had to guide the motley crew of Dork Boy, The Wife, Gigi, Bilbo, Crazy Aunt 1, and Cajun Unc through the Senoran desert. No easy task, especially for a guide who can't actually walk. Although, The Kid is slowly mastering the art of moving by neither walking or crawling. He uses some sort combination of flopping, sitting, drooling, and sherpa mind power to move about. Its slow but surprisingly effective. However, this is not the method he used to get about around the desert(not so much because he couldn't, but because the resulting dirt ball would have give The Wife a heart attack). He instead used his revolutionary side saddle backpack riding method.

The Kid demonstrates his side saddle technique, as well as Dork Boys ridiculous hair.

As well as keeping his motley crew from dying in the Senoran Desert, The Kid tried to educate Dork Boy on some of the native plants and the basics of navigating on trails.

The Kid shows Dork Boy trail markers, and native plants, as well, as making fun of Dork Boys horrendous hair.

The Kid's instruction was so successful that Dork Boy and The Wife were able to go for a hike all by themselves. Although, The Kid did send them on a simple hike were all they had to do was follow the river. Dork Boy still tried to get lost a couple times, but The Wife kept them pointed in the right direction.

Sights from Dork Boy and The Wife's hike. Dork Boys hair while not as visible is still ratty looking.

In addition to the technical details of guiding the hike, The Kid did a great job of getting the group to have fun. This particularly was necessary with the shy and retiring Cajun Unc, but by continually bouncing every time he saw Cajun Unc, The Kid managed to get the message that Cajun Unc should relax and have some fun. By the end of the weekend, Cajun Unc really had loosened up.

Here is Cajun Unc being a little tense. Crazy Aunt is just being crazy.

Here Cajun Unc looking much more happy and relaxed after several bounce messages from The Kid.

All in all it was a very successful trip to the desert. The Kid did an excellent job leading the hiking party, and will now get to continue with more advanced training at Sherpa School. He has already moved onto proper food handling(most of this involves not mushing the food). In addition, he started his studies in wildlife identification by going to the zoo.