The Kid Expands His Diet

The Kid recently made a trip to Dork Boys homeland. This necessitated a rather lengthy plane ride and some additions to The Kid's diet. The plane flight was an object of dread for Dork Boy and The Wife, but The Kid was kind and generous, and therefore was a very cooperative traveler, even if he was a bit confused as to why the hell they had to get up at 4am to go somewhere. Dork Boy was a bit confused by this as well, and he made the reservations.

While The Kid was fairly well behaved during the flight, he was pretty annoyed that he could not crawl up and down the aisle. He tried once or twice, but the kind cabin attendant with the drink cart kind of insisted he remain in his seat. Luckily, we were somewhat mollified by getting to play with the touch screen in the seat back. Whacking the screen and watching the display change was good for at least an hours worth of entertainment, which made most of the plane very happy. The one exception would be the lady in the seat in front of The Kid. She did not particularly enjoy some of The Kid's more energetic channel changing maneuvers.

While the plane flight was something he endured, The Kid did enjoy two new taste treats native to Dork Boy's homeland - BBQ and Fast Food Grease. The Kid was particularly fond of BBQ Ribs, which he tended to steal off of Dork Boy's plate.

The Kid helpfully insures all ribs were completely free of meat.

The Kid was a little reluctant to return the pilfered ribs.

The Kid was not as fond the tasty grease of The Varsity. However, part of the problem may have been The Wife's frequent and forceful warnings about Dork Boy's impending heart attack after each onion ring. While, The Kid was not that fond of The Varsity's food(although he was only allowed to eat it bits of hot dog bun), he was very pleased with The Varsity inspired fashion.

The Kid can wear the hat, but is still working on the "Whadya have? Whadya have?"

Sherpa Pirate

Not content with merely being a Master of The High Mountains, The Kid is now also in training to rule the high seas.

The Kid directs Dork Boy and The Wife about the bay. Generally this involved going from one tug boat to another.

While the Kid is very excited to be on the boat and directing where to go, he is really most excited about the ropes. Because of this he volunteered to be part of the cabin crew.

The Kid is a bit dismayed at the clutter Dork Boy allows below decks.

When not organizing the many lines and sails Dork Boy left scattered about the cabin, The Kid was busy helping Gigi run the jib sheets.

The Kid explain to Gigi the importance of always keeping a hand on the jib sheet and watching the tell tails.

While The Kid greatly enjoyed his initial sailing experience, there was very little boarding and taking of ships(although The Kid did give several Tug Boats some very long looks) and pretty much no rum was consumed, so it could be a while before The Kid begins the journey to the Somali coast to take his place as the pirate kingpin.

The Big Brown House Mouse

Halloween was a bit tense for The Kid, T-Bear and Monkey. First T-Bear and Monkey were not allowed to go Trick-Or-Treating. This did not make the guys all that happy. T-Bear, being a bear, is a big fan of sweets, and Monkey is remarkably fond of costumes. However, given that the Kid was going to Z.'s house which was going to be full of a number of other kiddos, maybe adding a Monkey and a Bear was a bit much.

While the guys were a bit bummed, they were at least in it together. However, that changed when The Kid's costume was revealed. The Kid was going to go as a Bear. This little fact through the delicate balance between the bears and the monkeys all out of whack. The Monkeys and The Bears are by no means antagonist, but still that many animals in a small house, protocols must be followed to insure toes are not stepped on, and The Kid being a Bear definitely broke some of those protocols.

But before things could get out of hand, The Wife inadvertently calmed things down. While trying to add some whiskers to the fierce little bear, she managed to turn him into a Big Brown House Mouse. And Nobody is upset by a Big Brown House Mouse. Well except for The Kid who wasn't so excited about having to wear a really warm Big Brown House Mouse costume.

While unhappy about the really warm hood, The Kid did love getting to play with the candy bucket.(Wife's Note:no candy was eaten)

Sherpa Field Training

As part of Sherpa School, The Kid went through an intensive field training course. The Kid had to guide the motley crew of Dork Boy, The Wife, Gigi, Bilbo, Crazy Aunt 1, and Cajun Unc through the Senoran desert. No easy task, especially for a guide who can't actually walk. Although, The Kid is slowly mastering the art of moving by neither walking or crawling. He uses some sort combination of flopping, sitting, drooling, and sherpa mind power to move about. Its slow but surprisingly effective. However, this is not the method he used to get about around the desert(not so much because he couldn't, but because the resulting dirt ball would have give The Wife a heart attack). He instead used his revolutionary side saddle backpack riding method.

The Kid demonstrates his side saddle technique, as well as Dork Boys ridiculous hair.

As well as keeping his motley crew from dying in the Senoran Desert, The Kid tried to educate Dork Boy on some of the native plants and the basics of navigating on trails.

The Kid shows Dork Boy trail markers, and native plants, as well, as making fun of Dork Boys horrendous hair.

The Kid's instruction was so successful that Dork Boy and The Wife were able to go for a hike all by themselves. Although, The Kid did send them on a simple hike were all they had to do was follow the river. Dork Boy still tried to get lost a couple times, but The Wife kept them pointed in the right direction.

Sights from Dork Boy and The Wife's hike. Dork Boys hair while not as visible is still ratty looking.

In addition to the technical details of guiding the hike, The Kid did a great job of getting the group to have fun. This particularly was necessary with the shy and retiring Cajun Unc, but by continually bouncing every time he saw Cajun Unc, The Kid managed to get the message that Cajun Unc should relax and have some fun. By the end of the weekend, Cajun Unc really had loosened up.

Here is Cajun Unc being a little tense. Crazy Aunt is just being crazy.

Here Cajun Unc looking much more happy and relaxed after several bounce messages from The Kid.

All in all it was a very successful trip to the desert. The Kid did an excellent job leading the hiking party, and will now get to continue with more advanced training at Sherpa School. He has already moved onto proper food handling(most of this involves not mushing the food). In addition, he started his studies in wildlife identification by going to the zoo.

Cause Grandmas Like Moving Pictures

Some people(Grandma's) feel maybe the accounts given by T-Bear and Monkey don't give them all the details they need to know about The Kid. While T-Bear and Monkey could have tried for more flowery descriptive prose to paint a more complete picture, they are pretty smart creatures and realized flowery descriptive prose is not so easy. However, using Dork Boy's credit card to purchase a camera with video capabilities is easy. Thus T-Bear and Monkey present The Kid in moving pictures and squeals.




To add further embarrassment to The Kid's bath adventures, T-Bear and Monkey proudly present a gratuitous butt shot.


T-Bear and Monkey assure all concerned that the choice to show such embarrassing photos is in no way related to them having to share a bed with a kid who has made an unfortunate habit of overflowing his pee diaper.

The Texas Delegation

Being endorsed by the state of Texas is not all fun Lyle Lovett related benefits, there are some duties. One of the main tasks The Kid must handle, is meeting with the occasional delegation from Texas, so that he can stay in touch with issues effecting Texans. Recently, he had a visit from official Texas baby, Baby B. Baby B was accompanied by his talented staff of Nana and The Snorter. Not to be out done, The Kid had his normal staff of T-Bear and Monkey. While T-Bear and Monkey are generally excellent staff, they are however a little out of there depth when it comes to the intricate protocol required to host an official Texas delegation. For this reason, The Kid brought in the expert, Gigi. Gigi did an excellent job of making sure there were no faux paux. Although, as far as T-Bear and Monkey could determine, the intricate protocol for an official Texas visit seems to involve lots and lots of dessert making. Well, there was some sort of hullabulu about pants being to short, but otherwise it seemed to be mostly dessert.

Baby B with his staff.

The actual meeting was very productive. The Kid and Baby B had a very intense discussion over a German consortiums plan for a gravity powered light rail system.

The Kid and Baby B take a break from intentally studing the scale model supplied by the german consurtium

They met with a group of expat Texans to learn what their concerns were for life outside the borders of Texas.

The Kid and Baby B meet with prominent members of the Texas Expatriate community

They also discussed environmental concerns such as the necessity of green spaces and the importance and practically of ride sharing.

The Kid and Baby B demonstrating that carpooling doesn't just apply to commuting.

Fun In The Water

Due to The Kid's hectic social schedule, he's attended several pool parties. He was a little unsure exactly how to handle these water based social events, so he checked with Monkey and T-Bear to see what swimming was like. While normally going to a bear and monkey for advice on pretty much any subject is a brilliant idea, asking them about swimming in a pool may be one of the few instances where they don't offer brilliant advice. Monkey tried to convince the kid to avoid all swimming, as swimming invariably led to encounters with crocodiles, and in Monkey's experience crocodiles where not the best swim buddies in the world. T-Bear on the other hand assured him swimming was great, although he had to make sure he scooped out all the salmon he could find. The Kid was not so excited about swimming with either salmon or crocodiles, so he was a little worried when he went to Z's birthday pool party.

The Kid anxiously looking for crocodiles to avoid or salmon to scoop.

After a few tentative trips into the pool that involved no crocodiles or salmon, The Kid decided maybe pools weren't the scary experience he had been led to expect. Z also assured him, in her vast pool experience, salmon and crocodiles were very rare.

With this encouragement The Kid was much more excited about the pool at baby D's little get together. Not only did the kid dip his feet in the water, he got his face wet and did some fast fast motorboating and a little practice waterskiing.

The Kid showing his skills as a fast fast motorboat.

Unfortunately there was no photographic evidence of The Kid's water skiing skills. However, The Kid is pretty sure it looked a lot like this:

The Kid is all about the intensity just like the Zooker.

Whether or not The Kid's skiing is that intense, he is now a much bigger fan of pools, and a little more unsure whether T-Bear and Monkey are as knowledgeable as they claim.