The Kid is Endorsed

After an extensive lobbying effort by T-Bear, The Kid has been endorsed by the State of Texas. The Kid is obviously very proud of this endorsement, and would like to say how much he loves the state of Texas. There are still a number of questions about what exactly this endorsement means. There have been a few tangible benefits, both sets of grandparents have received official certificates of congratulation. The Kid has received an official certificate as well, most exciting he has received the flag of Texas that flew over the capitol, the day he was born.

The Kid relaxing with his endorsement flag, and official Texas dirt.

Some other benefit that are rumored to be part of the endorsement are the state of Texas officially acknowledges the kid is soothed by the Texas Two Step; the kid officially does not look like an idiot when wearing a cowboy boot; jeans and cowboy boots are now always appropriate; the Kid can now consider Lyle Lovett, David Allen Coe and Hank Williams cool, and not in an ironic way. It's not all great being endorsed by Texas, The Kid will be expected to render some sort of opinion on the Romo - Jessica Simpson fiasco. He is not looking forward to reviewing the large stack of US magazine he will need to review.

The Kid contemplates adding a cowboy hat to go with his overalls.

The key figure in getting this highly prized endorsement was T-Bear. T-Bear said the key to the endorsements was a number of frank and productive conversations, and a large number of Shiner Bocks. Also, helping was a clever ploy involving dirt filled booties. By placing a pair of booties filled with Texas Soil under the Kid's bed, T-Bear was able to claim the Kid was born on Texas soil. This was a big point to the Texas negotiating committee. Texans are very big fans of all things Texas related.

T-Bear said he knew nothing about several large shipments of honey that were believed to be headed to Dallas. T-Bear was also unsure how this would effect the upcoming Texas primary as the Kid is unable to run for President due to age restrictions. He did assume the 2044 Primary would be unnecessary as the Kid would then be of age to accept the Presidential nomination. The Kid's political affiliations are also unknown, and can not even be inferred from his stated positions. His only position statement has been that he is pro-boob.

The Pack Leader Report

Things have been interesting with the pack lately. Furry Two Legger and Curly Haired Two Legger left for a couple of days, and came back with this small little two legger. Well at least I think it is a two legger, it seems to have two legs , but doesn't seem to actually use them. The little two legger doesn't really do much of anything except make these weird annoying high pitched cries. Being a benelovent Pack Leader, I have learned to ignore these annoying cries. Furry and Curly Haired Two Leggers however seem to find these cries incredibly interesting as they spend a lot of time watching the little one cry. Why they would do that instead of giving me my rubbies is really beyond me.

The only redeeming quality the little one has as far as I can tell, is they attract these other two leggers called "Grandmas". I like the Grandmas. They are very good about giving me plenty of rubbies, and they are not stingy with the treats.

Of course, as much as I like the grandmas, the little one also attracts a bad element. First, there is Pack Leader 2, or at least that's what the two leggers have been calling it. It is nothing like the great me. It is a very wide dog that really just lays about. Except for once when it growled at me. Although, that may have been the Curly Haired Two Legger trying to be funny. She has no idea how close Pack Leader 2 was to being eviscerated.

Pack Leader and Pack Leader 2 attempt to reach some sort of detente.

The other bad element is Monster Ball. It's a ball so you would think it would be likable, but it's monstrously large. And it makes weird echoy noises, so I never turn my back on it. One day, I will find a way to grab it and then I will smush it, but for now we have an uneasy truce. But watch yourself Monster Ball, I will not be trifled with!!!

Pack Leader warily approaches Monster Ball.

While I seemed to be stuck with the useless little one as part of my pack, I tried to add squishy ball to the pack. It is a great and wonderful ball, it is funny colors, it squishes and squeaks. It has all sorts of wonderful smells that are fun to track. It flies, it bounces, it rolls. It is infinitely more entertaining than the little one, and does tons more stuff. But no, Curly Haired declared it was disgusting, and wouldn't bring it out of the transport device. I do get to play with squishy ball at my kingdom on top of the hill, but damn the two leggers and their mastery of doors, or Squishy Ball would totally be part of the pack.

Squishy Ball, Pack Leader's preferred new pack member. Squishy Ball seems perfectly happy in the car.

Well the useless little one seems to be emitting some interesting smells I need to go check out, so concludes this pack report.

The Kid Makes Weight

The Kid is now 2 weeks old, and has just had his 2 week check-up. He has made massive weight gains to get back above his birth weight. He now clocks in at 7 lbs and 1.75 ounces.

While he is still relatively small, registering in only the 10th percentile for his age, The Kid has added a massive 10% of his body weight in a little over a week. This massive change in body type, as well as increase in The Kid's head size, has some people wondering if the Kid's incredible achievements are the results of performance enhancing products. However, The Kid's trainer, T-Bear, is adamant that the changes are the natural results of the growth process and a lot of hard dedicated work by The Kid at the boob. When questioned about a mysterious cream T-Bear was seen applying to The Kid, T-Bear insisted it was a natural banana and honey cream used to sooth tired babies. However, when asked to provide a sample of the cream, T-Bear abruptly insisted he had a very important appointment and could spare no more time for questions.

The Kid had no comment when questioned about his massive weight gain.

The Kid expressing his complete and total lack of a comment regarding allegations of extreme weight gain.

Strike!!!

Things are a bit tense in the house at the moment. The Kid is on a nursing strike. Currently the situation is relatively calm, but earlier things were very tense.

The kid in the midst of his nursing strike.

The Kids demands are still a bit vague, although there is some speculation the strike maybe related to Dork Boy dressing him in a funny hat.

The hat that may have initiated the strike.

Other theories are that The Kid is demanding more religious freedom. While Dork Boy worships at the Church of The All Fixing Duct Tape, while The Kid, given the crowd he hangs out with, seems to be more inclined to worship at the Temple of The Massive Holding Strength Gorilla Tape.

Further evidence The Kid is a fan of Gorilla Tape.

Negotiations are currently on going, and all parties are hopeful an amicable agreement can be reached.

The Gang Of Three

As the kid is a bit of all night animal, and likes to be upstairs and downstairs, Monkey and T-Bear were getting a bit worn out. Monkey had heard it takes a village to raise a child, so he figured a jungle could also raise a child, so he called in the Gang Of Three, a tribe of Gorilla's he knew in his younger days. They're a little rough, but they and The Kid seem to enjoy hanging out in the day, while T-Bear and Monkey rest up to get the kid through his wild nights.

The Kid and The Gang Of Three hang out in Dork Boy's Old Bassinet

The Kid Claims The Room

The Kid has made it home and is already claiming the place as his own. Not only does he have Dork Boy and The Wife entertaining him at all hours of the morning, he also has Grandma Gigi and Grandpa Bilbo around to clothe him and carry him around while he gets a handle on the whole crawling thing. Plus, Monkey, T-Bear, and Pack Leader have explained the subtle details of ownership by peeing. He has managed to pee on both Dork Boy and The Wife, as well as, getting the changing table and off the table and across to the crib. The Kid is pretty sure he will own the whole upstairs by the end of the week.

Monkey,T-Bear and The Kid Plan the ambush that got Dork Boy.

The Kid Arrives

T-Bear and Monkey are now on the clock.

On Jan. 1 The Kid decided he had had enough of Gamedays being spent in the womb, and he was making kickoff for the Sugar Bowl. This was not exactly an easy task since he didn't really start his approach until 2 or 3 in the morning of Jan 1, but by 7am he had estabilished a nice steady pattern to the contractions, and from there the Wife really managed to shoot him out with the help of the great man himself, Dr. Paul, Anesthesiologist of the Gods, and his trusty epidural. Also with some help by Dr. Green, who managed to slide into the room just in time to catch the kid as he arrived. Dork Boy, was some what helpful, he managed to not pass out at any point in the proceeding and he did cut the cord turning the kid loose on the world.

The Kid With Dork Boy and The Wife